Don't measure your relationship based on your parent's relatonships!
November 12, 2009
I have met a good many individuals who view their relationships in the light of their parent's relationships. This can often evolve into a relationship killer - whether it's a marriage or dating situation. STOP doing it! Just because your mother was a GREAT mother, cook, housewife and so on and so forth, does NOT mean your wife WILL or SHOULD be the same. Just because you had a father who cheated on your mother does NOT mean that your husband or wife is or will do the same. Just because your dad was faithful in every sense of the word to your mother, does not mean your husband will be the same! Projecting these onto your partners, be they good attributes or bad will land you and your partner in hot soup! So, DON'T DO IT! Every individual is unique and has different characteristics and must be viewed and assessed with a sense of neutrality. I've seen guys who were unable to accept the fact that their wives were cheating on them though the signs were written everywhere in their relationship, just because their mothers did not do that to their dads. In the end, they did not take the right measures t remedy the situation and lost everything! I've seen women who were constantly suspicious of every move their innocent husbands made because their fathers cheated on their mothers in the past. I've also seen men drive their relationships up the wall by becoming extreme misers because one of their parent's was an extreme spendthrift that landed the family in debt. Throw out your views of marriage life from your parents today because the FACT of the matter is that every relationship is different because EVERY individual is different! Another HUGE reason why you should throw your parental perspective of relationships is because the relationship between a man and a woman is one that is extremely private and is rarely ever seen plainly for what it is by the children in the family, therefore your view of your parent's relationship and behaviours are NOT complete views and therefore, holding on to incomplete views will cause you to make decisions and act in ways that can and destroy the love in your marriage. Be clear about this. Your wife or girlfriend is NOT your mother, and your husband or boyfriend is NOT your dad. Period! Actually, this blog entry here can lead you to predict what the genral behaviours of your future partner can be and be in a position to deal with it. I will cover this in my ezine article 'How to predict the general traits and behaviours of your chosen partner - The Law of the Extremes' soon so look out for it! It's actually really simple, people generally dislike the current behaviours of others, so they tend to try to do the opposite or enforce actions in an extreme manner to prevent that outcome from happening. Knowing this can help you to lead your partner out of certain behaviours and bring the both of you closer together.
Posted by Freddy Bennett. Posted In : Couples